All The Young Dudes

ALERT: YOUTUBE FLIK: COMING OUT

Alison just alerted me to a fantastic short flik on Youtube, called COMING OUT.

COMING OUT is about a  son comes to his mother with a compelling secret. Will she understand? It is a quirky comedy written by Charlie Swinbourne and directed by Louis Neethling (who also directed BBC2’s ‘Switch’). The film was made for the London Deaf Film Festival and premiered in January 2007. It stars David Hay, Debbie Norman and Ilan Dwek.

Without giving away the storyline [and spoiling your viewing pleasure], it uses the coming out process, that Gays and Lesbians  only know too well, and posits it as a coming out as a Deaf Person. It’s fucking fantastic, and if you remember your first forays into dirty videos and dirty magazines, you are in for a treat here. The parallels between being Deaf and being Gay/ Lesbian are so similar. The ending took me by surprise and is a stark reminder of how well we don’t know a person, and how our worse fears can come true. That the people we know and love, is not the person we thought they were.

There are some issues I have with the film, a concern that I have been aware of for some time.
In exploring Deafness, it unfortunately reinforces the male view of the world:
Man = Active, Initiator, Makes Things Happens and Woman = Passive, Wallflower.
Not only that, it also a white male [people] world.

This particular world view, informs much of the films that are produced. Which goes along way to explaining why Deafies, Gays/ Lesbians, Blacks, different ethnicities, et al, are not given enduring treatments, and tend to be issue or flavour of the month. Even within other cultures, the male view is the dominant one.

But for the subject explored, the film still deserves a “Fuck! Go and watch it! COMING OUT”

See also:

Coming Out
Four Deaf Yorkshiremen, A Trailer
BBC Access 2.0: Interview with Charlie Swinbourne

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On Marriage & Being Owned

Since the onset of legalising or recognising civil partnerships for Gays and Lesbians, there has been a spate of Deafies in the UK rushing to the altar [breaking of stilletoes and wiping up of running mascara]. Never you mind who they are. Just take my word for it, it’s a mad rush, and my lips curl ever tighter. I know I’m a cynic, but I just cannot stand being owned by another person. It’s frigging hard enough just maintaining the different relationships that litter my life [family, friends, and work colleagues], without contemplating being tied [shackled, chained, psychologically mutated, et al, take your pick of words] to another human being. Don’t get me wrong. I’m perfectly capable of bonding, loving, loyalty, and good deeds to human beings, just not the label, “OWNED BY…..”

People have this tendency to fuck you up basically!

Anyway, I was talking to my friend Alison, after another friend of hers got marriage. I commented how many of the Deafies in the UK were rushing to the altar, falling over, hitting their heads and losing all common sense. Sure, I’m maintaining a civil tongue now [much to Liam's chagrin], though at the time I was picking the shit out of a mutual friend.. when she asked me, in jest. Surely? When was I gonna tie the knot? When was I gonna come back to the UK and marry my X. If she could have seen my face when she asked me that question, she woulda seen my lips curl with derision. Utter derision.

That is not to detract from the fact that, and I repeat, I’m perfectly capable of bonding, loving, loyalty, and good deeds to human beings, just not the label, “OWNED BY…..”

This conversation got me thinking of my theme song. Contrary to popular opinion, it’s not a
wild rocking thing, or pop paeans to butt fucking, but the following tune [which I have also done a sign sung version of, though not on video], still in the spirit of rebellion, which I dedicate to Alison, who I suspect [rather strongly] shares the same derision and utter contempt for the label, “OWNED BY…..”

YOU CAN MAKE ME WANT YOU WANT YOU (QuatroTuckey)

Well you thought you got an angel
But I’ll tell you it just ain’t so
This careless mamma ain’t no baby don’t you know
When you touch me you set me aglow
And when I’m in your arms I really don’t wanna go
You can make me want you
But I ain’t gonna love you
Ain’t gonna be the one at home waitin’ for you
I feel the rhythm but I’m never gonna feel the pain
Lady little lady
I’m an actress in your game
Dancin’ and romancin’
What you tryin’ to gain
Just lead me up to your bed
But if I stay all night
I’m gonna get inside of your head
You can make me want you
But I ain’t gonna love you
Ain’t gonna be the one at home waitin’ for you
I feel the rhythm but I’m never gonna feel the pain
Just like the rain is falling
Tears pour from my eyes
You know the way you feel
For me came as no surprise
I guess I’ll be moving on
‘Cos another lover’s arms
Are waiting for me to call
You can make me want you
But I ain’t gonna love you
Ain’t gonna be the one at home waitin’ for you
I feel the rhythm but I’m never gonna feel the pain
I feel the rhythm but I’m never gonna feel the pain

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